The Illusion

You tell me I am so STRONG, I tell you “nah I am just afraid not to be.” 

You tell me I have changed, I look up at you and say oh really, I am just depressed. 

You tell me loneliness doesn’t last always, I tell you I don’t feel lonely just rejected.  

You tell me I can be anything that I want to be, I tell you that I know, but with their limits. 

You tell me there are better days ahead, I asked you how many more years do I have to wait for one better day. 

You tell me, I am a natural at life, I say “nah I just can’t fail at it.”

You asked me to adjust my crown, I asked you how when it was made crooked.

You tell me I seem pretty confident, I say nah you maybe mistaking that for performance. 

You tell me everyone loves you, I say yeah as long as it benefits them. 

You tell me I need to take better care of myself, I say, I wish Black Women could do that. 

You asked me what does success look like for me, I tell you that I don’t know because the bar continues to be raised so I can’t reach it. 

You tell me, you will never understand how I don’t feel “equal” I say I know because your privilege doesn’t call for that type of understanding.

You tell me that I will change the world one day, I said it will likely cost me my life then I shrug. 

You tell me we all support you, I look at you and said really, I assume that support is from afar.

You ask me if I believe you, I say I believe what I see.  

You apologize for not doing more, I look at you and say, I had no expectations so your off the hook. 

You asked me what my greatest fear was, I think about it because it has changed so many times. I then say, “Being a Black Woman.” You gasped.  I walked away.