So, let’s talk about this thing called perfection. “What the heck is it anyway and who the hell told us to try and achieve it.”
It’s everything that we see on Instagram, Facebook & snapchat. Like that perfect car, the perfect wife/husband, the perfect house, the perfect skin, ass, breast, children, jobs, all the traveling we see folks doing and chillleeee let me not forget those damn angles. We are obsessed over these angles honey. We have to get that “perfect” selfie right.
So, let me kill those dreams and assumptions right here right now. Trying to achieve perfection is something that will send you to your grave quicker than the speed of light. It’s pointless because none of us are perfect so why the heck are we out here trying to achieve perfection.
Let’s go deeper, some of us are chasing a dream of perfection that started off on the wrong track from the beginning. It is my belief that self-worth starts at home.
It starts when you are 2 years old and your parents or caregivers say, “good job baby” “you are so bright”, “you are so awesome” “you can be anything in this world that you desire to be. ” It’s when you are 15 years old and they say, “your skin is beautiful and I love that hair of yours and Its okay if you didn’t do well in Algebra, we will work on it.” It’s the attention, it’s the time spent, it’s the support and love even when things are not the best either.
Or it can be,
“You never get anything right” “you are going to be just like your mother/father” “Getting a “B” is not good enough” “Why do you act so dumb?” “Can you just go in your room and play.” It can also include non-verbal’s such as negative displays of emotion even when it’s not directed at anyone in particular, lack of interaction or even a child watching their parents not handle failure well.
Shall I continue, I don’t need to because some of you reading this right now experienced many of those things as a child, so I am going to keep this thing moving. You get it.
We are groomed into this thing called perfection simply by being in the world as a human being. As a clinician I see this unachievable goal every day in my practice with my clients. I see perfection increasing and fostering anxiety disorders, depressive disorders, suicidality, alcoholism, fatigue and overall decompensation. I also see how it prevents effective coping during periods of disappointment and also how it impacts others around us.
Just a little self-disclosure I saw this unachievable goal in myself for a long time as well and I still continue to see it manifest in areas of my life. I am a work in progress honey. I am not exempt from the struggle. So therefore, I am here to tell you some ways to help manage those expectations that you put on yourself . They sure helped me.
* Remember there is no such thing as perfection.
* Your BEST is good enough.
* Reflect on how amazing you already are during times of insecurity.
* Engage in spiritual guidance, meditation, therapy or whatever you can to work on your deep-rooted issues with obtaining perfection.
* LOVE YOURSELF MORE THAN YOUR FLAWS. We all have those things.
* If social media is an issue, take a break, it will always be there when you return. I was off of FB for 6 years and IG for 2.
* For my ladies, guess what cellulite is a thing sweetie, embrace it. It has nothing to do with the woman you are and if it does, you have a lot more than cellulite to worry about.
* Fellas who cares about your hairline, cut it off, we love the bald heads anyway (lol)
* Keep a positive tribe of people who encourage you when you are thriving but also tells you when you are a hot mess.
* One more thing…and did I mention SELF LOVE is the cure for perfection. Oh yes honey it is.
The things that I say in this blog are not all exclusive to everyone and thanks for laughing at my funnies but if you can take only one thing from it please take away that you will never obtain perfection because you will never be PERFECT so stop trying and be the BEST version of you.