“Fear was my game changer”

I am not sure about you, but I have experienced fear too often throughout my life.   Within the past 2 years, fear has controlled my life. Now let’s talk about this because “control” is often looked at as a negative thing. So here is why I chose to use the word control. When things are out of “our” control we panic, become fearful, regress and may even resort to things that are not healthy for us.   We feel hopeless, we can become negative, isolate, stop doing the things that we enjoy, along with so many other negative or demorlizing things. 

About two years ago, I received some very disappointing news that I felt at that time would change my life for the worst.  Fear took over! I became uncertain, I doubted myself, I questioned my character, my talents and even who I was as a person, a sister, a woman, a friend and as a human being.   “Whewww chillleee, it was a very rough time.”  

After becoming exhausted mentally and with the constant support and prayer of an amazing cousin in my life, I felt a shift.   My perception of the events changed, I decided to control my own narrative for myself and no one else.   That desire for approval went out of the door quickly.  The idea of self-acceptance started to creep into my life, my mind and my spirit.   I was like “holy crap” what is happening here. I began to focus more on my mental health, self-care and what I wanted for myself.  I realized that my fear was being fostered by approval.  I realized that I was seeking perfection in a unperfect place.   Oh boy, once the lightbulb came on, my shoulders became lighter and my head elevated even more.   

My fear became my drive.

My fear increased my ability to care for myself better.

My fear forced me to leave no stone unturned.

My fear forced me to step into new challenges.  

My fear drove me to apply to a school that I did not feel good enough to get  into; I DID and now I am 1 year from completion of my doctorate. 

My fear drove me to start “Through Her Slanted Eyez .”  

Ultimately, My fear drove me to start thinking with my HEART and not my MIND.

I started becoming fearful for NOT doing what my heart desired to do.  

Fear changed my entire perspective on something I thought was my demise.  

I am bolder!

I am fearless!

I have courage!

I am more optimistic!

I see my dreams being my reality.

I am crushing my personal goals.

I am finally doing this thing called life for me and only me.

So much has changed for me because I decided to embrace my fears. That confident woman that many individuals already knew became even more confident through her own reassurances.


5 thoughts on ““Fear was my game changer”

  1. Thank you for being so vulnerable and authentic. I definitely needed this reminder. I will now start letting fear control me in a better way than I have.

    Liked by 2 people

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